Today really sucked.
The awesomeness: I finished typing my MIT application essay around 2am and showed it to some friends (no thanks to the jackass DoSing LJ). I thought it might need some editing in the morning, so I read over it when I woke up. I was too nervous to eat breakfast and just sipped water. But reading my own words was bringing tears to my eyes. I began to realize that this essay was far too powerful for any little imperfection to make a damn bit of difference. There were already a couple of comments to that effect at the bottom. I knew I wasn't going to be doing any editing and started to write thank-yous back to my "reviewers".
The suckage: Alex poked his head in and reminded me of a really important meeting this morning, which I decided I was going to have to miss. LJ wasn't taking comments this morning so the thank-yous didn't go thru. I knew I had one other thing to do before turning in my MIT application today, choose a new advisor, and I was going to have to find time for that.
The awesomeness: Somewhere in there, I completely forgot to stress out over anything. Not quite in an "Office Space" trance, but somewhere beyond laid-back. I wrote "will specify ASAP" in the blank for new advisor name, grabbed my stuff, and headed to the meeting at work 20 minutes late. On the way I was rerunning parts of the essay in my head and had tears running down my face and a silly grin. I may have freaked out a couple of pedestrians or other drivers. I didn't even worry about walking into the meeting late.
The suckage: The meeting sucked. The numbers sucked. The potential consequences of the numbers sucked. I can't give any details, but I am specifically authorized to say that work sucked today.
The awesomeness: After that, I schlepped my essay into Word to print it as a letter-like thing. Not that using Word is awesome, but it at least didn't do anything to ruin my day. At first it tried to put the page-numbered footer so low on the page that it the bottoms of the numbers were cut off, but I gave it a stern talking-to and got the page layout fixed. I was just not in a huge hurry, made myself a copy of the application form, and wandered out towards the T station.
The suckage: T under construction. Trains were being lame today. Way too much waiting. Hot, humid, and crowded. Okay, so not really very sucky. This alternation thing is about to quit working for me.
The awesomeness: I went to see Anne Hunter, the EECS administrator who's been sponsoring my Athena account and generally rooting for me all these years. I have never felt more at home in her office. I mentioned the advisor-choosing thing to her, since she's the meta-advisor who would know which profs I should be considering. I recognized a couple of names on her list, and will probably pick one of them, but meanwhile she's cool with the will-specify-later thing.
She asked to see my application before I turned it in, and started reading the essay. I was not the least bit nervous and picked up a toy from her desk to play with while she read. She asked a couple of questions, but was probably as close to speechless and stunned as I've ever seen her. She pulled up my records, pointed to the F in the last term, and said, "your first assignment is to petition to get this removed." So I did. She's helped so many students petition the institute for so many things that she drafts petitions by habit, basically telling you what you need to say. Halfway through this exercise, she added, "but a writer like you probably doesn't need my help." I smiled and copied her draft onto the form.
So, petition done. Application turned in. Other application-related stuff has to be in by August 1, so I'll take care of it in due time. I am so relieved now. Tomorrow is New Apartment Day.